Review of The Sevarian Way by Justine Elyot

I was instantly caught by the cover and the blurb of this novella:

In space, no one can hear you scream, so you can spank as hard as you like.

What's not to like? The story is that of a Commander and an Ensign - who are forbidden from BDSM practises by their own culture - exploring the kinky practises of an extinct race on a deserted planet. It's a gloriously original idea, brilliantly executed.

It's refreshing to read an author that really captures the appeal of BDSM. Elyot exposes the heart of the dom/sub relationship, often leaving me with a lump in my throat as I empathised with Suka's reactions and thoughts about her experiences at the well educated and inventive hands of her Commander. There are various scenes of different kinky practises and they are realistic and engaging with a futuristic edge. I found myself getting very jealous of the characters at times – there are definitely things that go on that I'd love the chance to get a go at. I finished the story pining to be able to meet the race that the pair are exploring and experience things the way they do.

Beyond the story, what really caught me is the language. Here is an author with an extensive vocabulary, the likes of which I haven't read anywhere else in the erotic genre. Elyot proves that you can write erotica with intelligent, literary flare. I'll definitely be reading more of her work.

Conclusion: Futuristic yet realistic, with pant-moistening play, stunningly written. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

The Sevarian Way is available from Total E-Bound and Justine Elyot's website is here.

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Lessons in "Oh." (A Review)

I bought “Lessons in 'O' : Deep Throating /Oral Sex / Three Some/ Lesbian” by Gemma Parkes from the Amazon.co.uk Kindle store because Parkes tweeted that it is number 17 in Best Female Erotica 2011 list and I presumed this was based on sales. I realise now it was just a list by someone on Amazon. A lesson for me in more careful purchasing. There aren't any reviews for this particular piece but there are reviews of other works by same author and they're generally quite good so I presumed this would be alright.

I bought it, despite the fact that the tag words are in the title, and “threesome” is left as two words rather than combined into one. I bought it despite there being no front cover, so to speak, just a slightly odd CGI image of a pair of lips which looks like it wasn't actually rendered, it was lifted straight from a work in progress on a 3D modelling package.

My second impression was about as great as my first. The formatting was annoying – I had to turn the font size down because it was enormous. There are no proper line breaks or tabs for new paragraphs. There's a serious lack of punctuation right from the off. I was at this point feeling distinctly disappointed. I make no secret that I've not read a lot of erotica lately that I've enjoyed, but I still wilt a little when I try someone new that doesn't raise my expectations. Looking over the comments I've written already I'm wondering why I still went ahead and I bought it. I didn't want (perhaps unwisely) to judge the book by it's cover.

The premise is... bizarre (slightly creepy, I thought), but gets points for being original. Ellie's guy would like her to read his ex-girlfriend's book about oral sex in order to become better at it. Being a good girlfriend, Ellie does try it – and then invites the author/ex-girlfriend over, and lesbian antics ensue.

There's a lot of quite well written sex and it's quite light hearted, but that was about it, really. The dialogue is very clunky and made me cringe more often than relate to the characters. The ex-girlfriend is painted as intensely irritating (and a bit mentally imbalanced, if I'm honest) and I found myself wondering what Ellie was doing with her. There was no “Three Some”. Overall I felt it was confused, with the issues overshadowing the occasional glimpses of potential brilliance. Nothing that a few solid edits couldn't fix, perhaps, but not ready to be in the Kindle store yet, even at £0.86.

Conclusion: Not without merit, but not worth paying for. 2 out of 5 stars.

In the interest of constructive criticism, here are some (hopefully) helpful comments:

• First impressions are incredibly important. It's unfortunate that many readers will judge your book by it's cover but it's the truth. Make sure that your work looks professional from the outside.
• Please, please, PLEASE get someone with a decent grasp of grammar to check over your work before you publish it.
  
• Check that your work is properly formatted for the medium you're selling it for. If you don't have a Kindle, find someone who does. Your reader will thank you.
  
• I don't like to judge an author based on one piece of work, but many readers will do just that. You could be selling hundreds of other stories but work like this may well be putting off many more “come back” readers that you would otherwise be attracting. It pays to get it right all the time. This leads me to....
  
• ...if you go back to a story like this and realise that it is letting your other work down, take it out of circulation and fix it. Don't just leave it there like a bad smell.

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No More Mrs Nice Reviewer

Last week I wrote a blog post about editing. I was very nice in it and only named one author that had pissed me off. I was extremely tactful even though I was so angry that I actually had to stop reading for a bit the other night because everywhere I looked I saw spelling mistakes and I could barely see the rest of the story.

Since then, I've thought a lot about how tactful I should be when reviewing others work. At first I thought I would just not mention shoddy work, as it seemed unkind to name and shame people. I wondered how to tell an author tactfully that their work isn't great. Then I read something very interesting in a book. It paraphrases to this: by putting your work up for sale, you are saying that you as the writer and editor of your writing have decided that it is fit for public consumption. This means that you aren't asking me for my critique as a writer, you are asking for my money and my opinion as a reader. I have limited time and money to spend reading, so I feel that what I'm reading should be worth it. I could point out that I also have a desire to let other readers know when something isn't worth paying for, but that is a minor part. It would be hypocritical to let you assume I'm that altruistic. I have a lot of opinions as a reader, and I'm about to start expressing them.

Oh, I am so talking to you.

Yesterday I bought a story from the Kindle store. I read it, despaired of it, and asked for a refund. I'll be damned if I'm giving any more of my money or time to poor work without expressing my opinion about it from here on in. I am done with paying for work that isn't finished.

I'm no longer afraid to say what I want to say about writing I don't enjoy. I don't owe you constructive criticism, self-published author. Since you've already published you're basically telling me you don't need it. So you'd better get used to the idea of people telling you your writing sucks, because that's what it'll come down to if it's not a polished product when you put it up for sale.

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Review of Reawakening by Charlotte Stein

I was lucky enough to get this as a review copy from Charlotte herself, but you can buy it here, and probably various other outlets. You can find more about Charlotte Stein on her website (and it's well worth reading, cos she's really funny.)

I loved this book. I mean, really LOVED this book. I'm hard pushed to think of a book I have enjoyed more in the last number of months, especially in the erotica genre, and doubly so for paranormal erotica.

Reawakening is about June, who, having spent two-odd years on the run with her now zombiefied (and dead) best friend, finds herself suddenly in safety with two attractive men. Slowly, she begins to realise what it's like to feel again, to not live in constant fear, and the two attractive men cause all kinds of interesting feelings...

The book is written in a very conversational tone, which I struggled with a little at first (being a fan of very “fluffy” language) but which made the reactions and feelings of the characters very accessible. I got very immersed in June's story and the post-apocalyptic setting of the book and often found myself reading until the wee hours of the morning, unable to put the flipping thing down. Charlotte Stein has a wicked sense of humour – the intensity of the predicament of the characters is often broken up by bouts of the ridiculous and I for one have never found being turned on and then laughing my ass off to be such a strange and enjoyable combination. Its a very joyous book, which seems odd given its setting but which works well.

What's especially beautiful about the story is that attraction and sex are not commonplace in a zombie apocalypse and all the characters seem slightly nervous about the whole thing. There's a real sense of wonder and surprise in June's response to her emotions, not to mention a much more hyped up response to her sexual urges than you'd get from other settings. I sometimes teared up feeling pleased for her and other times felt very jealous that I have become complacent about sex and do not feel the same rollercoaster thrill that June does about it. The balance between the really hot sex and the emotional reactions of two men working out how to share the woman they love is carefully done, and it all comes off as very believable. Which as far as I'm concerned is pretty awesome, considering there's a zombie apocalypse going on and the practicalities of threesomes have always seemed to me to be rather less fulfilling than the idea. All in all, it's very well executed.

So in summary: The story is brilliant, the guys are very hot, the girl is lovable and the sex is epic. If I could give this book six out of five stars, then I would do.

Verdict: 5 out of 5 stars. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

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Review of A Bit of Rough by Lucy Felthouse

I bought this from Kindle UK, but you can get it from a whole bunch of other places, and you can find more information about Lucy Felthouse at her website.

I don't really want to start on a bum note, but since it's at the beginning I guess I have to: I don't like this title. I put off buying and reading this story because I think that the title “A Bit of Rough” sounds... well, naff, honestly. I'm aware what it means, and that it can be aptly applied to the situation at hand, but it somehow comes off as cheesy and forced, in my opinion. Which is a shame really, because once I got past that it's really a great piece of writing.

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